Beautiful day for porch sitting and pondering. Deep blue, cloudless sky. Sun feels good on my face. Lots of my bird friends visiting the feeders. All is right with my world today! Penelope is taking a depressed sun bath siesta. I put a dog sweater on her. Penelope absolutely hates sweaters. First time I put one on her she was paralyzed for ten minutes. Couldn’t even walk. Just stood there all sad and mortified.

The wind is swift today! Seriously thinking of retreating to the lady den.

Back with my vest on so I’m plodding along with my thoughts. Ate lunch in the swing today, peanut butter with homemade jelly and a glass of buttermilk. You shouldn’t be surprised. Remember I like sardines and chili on toast.

We never ate sandwiches growing up. I didn’t even eat peanut butter till I suffered with Covid. I’d eat one piece of bread spread with peanut butter, folded over, so all the z-pack, steroids, and horse pill sized vitamins wouldn’t fall in an empty stomach. Caught Chief eating a spoon of peanut butter straight from the jar. He looked like a child sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar.

When middle brother was in college he went to his fraternity house for lunch.There was a bowl of peanut butter and bowl of jelly on the table. He had to ask what’s for lunch. He’d never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Guess he learned how!

Been listening to Andrea Bocelli’s new Christmas album titled A Family Christmas. His young daughter Virginia and his older son Matteo accompany him on some of the songs. So beautiful!

Can you imagine Christmas without music? I loved singing in the First Baptist Church cantatas here in Roanoke. When I moved to Alexander City I sang in the First Presbyterian Church choir. My whole family came over for the cantata and enjoyed the church dinner afterwards. Guess it was the first family outing without my daddy. He had died in July.

You know how you hear a song on the radio and memories come flooding back. When I hear Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song Free Bird I am immediately back in the First Baptist Church parking lot hearing my high school boy friend tell me he wanted to date other people. That song was playing on the radio while we sat in the parking lot. I was devastated and that song always makes my heart hurt from the beauty of young love.

Imagine the movie Jaws without that climatic two notes of scariness. Old westerns have great music, too. And can’t forget all the tunes from The Sound of Musiic. And I love the songs from Oklahoma. Oklahoma was the first musical written by Rogers and Hammerstein.

Music can be uplifting and but can also be painful. I wept today and had the knife stabbing pain of grief that takes your breath away when I sat in my lady den and listened to the greatest hits of the Larry Gatlin band. Chief and I wore that album out when we were courting.

Once when we were on our way to Roanoke for the weekend Larry Gatlin’s All the Gold in California came on the radio. We had been married for many years and our children grown up but I knew immediately what his smile meant.

I’m missing you, Chief!