No porch sitting on this dreary day. Just looking out the windows presents a winter afternoon. Birdies are flirting and flitting around. If I was them I’d be finding me a hidey-hole to get ready for nightfall, for staying out of the wind, and for staying warm. Still wishing for snowflakes but don’t think it’s gonna happen. Just went out to check for flakes but it’s still all rain and the wind is blustery. I love that word, blustery. Perfectly describes today.

Yesterday I poured the remnants of a bag of bird seed on the deck railing. Looked outside at the deck after it got dark and Grandpaw the raccoon was stuffing seeds in his mouth fast as he could. His hands resemble a child’s. Called Penelope and she jumped up on the glass door woofing and he ran off, scrambling down the deck post fast as his 50 pound self could go. Stew looked out at midnight and Grandpaw and two of his harem were finishing the seeds. Stew just watched them. They are beautiful creatures with their ringed tails and Lone Ranger masks. The deck railing was as clean this morning as if I had swept it. I really don’t mind them eating the seeds on the deck. They’re God’s little creatures, too. But that’s the end of feeding birds on the deck. It’s time for the raccoons to move on. Don’t want them raising their kits here.

Been writing down quotes today as I’m reading and even wrote one down I heard Tom Selleck say during a Blue Blood episode. I’ve always collected quotes. Didn’t have a scrap of paper to write them on by my chair so I spoke them to Notes on my phone. Course the phone can’t understand me so I had to correct them. The phone typed “Ashlock” for the words “our sleep” so maybe I need speech therapy.

Selleck said, “Even in our sleep, our pain drops, drip, drip, drip upon our heart.” Being a widow this quote makes me think of the grief we experience from the death of our spouse. The drips of pain are always with us, sometimes becoming a river of emotions and other times just a drip of feelings. But when we least expect these drips become a flood of emotions that can drown us. The flood water washes over us and takes our breath.

Read this quote doing some research this afternoon. “The greatest pain in life is not to die but to be ignored.” I think my daughter experienced this during her middle school years. She never could find her place in life till she went to college. Life as a middle schooler is rough. She often felt the pain of a teenager’s not belonging, always standing outside and looking looking in. She finally stepped in the circle at Snead State and was tragically killed in a car wreck her freshman year. I’m comforted that when she died she had found her happy place in life.

Love this quote which is anonymous —“When it rains look for rainbows. When it’s dark look for stars.” This quote could apply to every moment of our everyday lives. If we could just be brave enough to embrace it. I think my son Thomas lives this. He’s always optimistic and faces all of life’s obstacles with grace and determination to plow on through. He find rainbows and stars when they are hard to find. When Alexander was ill with acute disseminated encephalomyelitis he told me, “Mama, don’t come in his hospital room crying. Come in with a smile on your face.” We all found smiles and stars and rainbows and Alexander recovered.

Maya Angelou’s quote, “If you have only one smile give it to the people you love,” speaks to me. I know I sometimes give my smiles to the world and give my frowns to my family. It’s so easy to smile at the unknowns, but hard in this over scheduled, fast paced world to smile at home. We’re all stressed out by the worlds problems and we briefly make eye contact and look away as we walk through our days. We have our meetings on computer screens and communicate through a text. The art of conversation is being intimidated by technology. No one meets in the break area for coffee or daily conversations.

I never glanced over at Chief when he didn’t give me a genuine smile. I hope I did the same. Let’s bring a genuine smile back in our lives. Don’t be afraid to smile. We underestimate the power of a smile in this world we live in. Your smile might be the sunshine that helps someone weather another day.