Ate my breakfast in the swing again today. Only saw cardinals and doves and chickadees on the feeders. A tiny downy woodpecker spent time on the suet feeder. It was a female. She was dressed in her black and white checked tuxedo. She breakfasted on a suet feeder. She’s a beautiful little girl. Her boyfriend has a little red cap he wears with his tuxedo. Two turkey vultures were so high they were dots in the sky. Weren’t really sure they were our resident vultures till I saw two more vultures join in the wind current soaring. Saw a few squirrels frisking around, too. Thank goodness Penelope slept through their yard visit. She really puts up a fuss when she sees a squirrel.

I know these spring mornings won’t last much longer and I’m taking advantage of every one of them. I think when Mother Nature quits creating windy days she’s going to remember it’s really not spring yet and she’s going to sprinkle a few more winter days in. I’m eating the worst cantaloupe, with three strawberries, on my breakfast plate. I’m determined to eat it, though, because it cost $3! It’s really not that bad but last week’s cantaloupe was so good. Might break my rule and cut the other cantaloupe in the fridge before I finish this one. I could feed it to the birds, I guess, but that might draw Grandpaw raccoon to the front yard.

Grew a beautiful cantaloupe in my old rusty wheelbarrow last year. I babied it, turned it, gave it big drinks of Miracle Grow, talked to it, praised it. There were four little cantaloupes but only one thrived. I was so proud or it. I’d show oldest brother how much it grew everyday. Decided it was ready to pick. Went to bed excited about how delicious it was going to be for my breakfast. Chief and I had tried for years to grow cantaloupes but the deer always stepped on them and ate the insides. Got up and went outside to cut the cantaloupe from the vine and something had eaten half of it! I could even see the teeth marks. I was so disappointed! The other little cantaloupes gave up and died. I think they didn’t want to be eaten!

Forgot to tell y’all about the chipmunk that came across the porch yesterday. I was quietly pondering and I caught site of him sneaking across the porch. He needs to go to the gym with Fatty the squirrel! He is so fat he has love handles on each side. He sneakily crawled to the porch steps, crawling an inch from Penelope’s nose. Penelope was asleep but guess she smelled him and jumped up at attention and that little critter hightailed it off the porch to the big oak tree. He crawled a few feet up the tree. Did not know chipmunks would climb trees. Gonna research that!

Ever wonder about your happiness? After Chief died, I tried to decide what happiness is? Happiness is the state of being happy. But, what is happy? I decided being happy is being content with your life. Happy people smile and are pleasant to be around. And they don’t complain and worry about things in their life they can’t control. They accept that life isn’t always fair and sometimes the good guys don’t win. But we don’t stop plodding along. We know eventually someone or something will be a rainbow in our storm of life.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is — when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” I was saying my prayers last night and asking God to tell Chief how much I love him and miss him. I end my prayers with this phrase every night. This was Chief’s favorite time of year. He loved looking at his seed catalogs, happily collecting the mail each day for seed purchases. Happily shopping at Abernathys and Awbreys for seeds and plants and fertilizer. There were were no tears for the first time in over two years when I said my prayers last night. I did have a sad moment of remembrance but I quickly realized, I might be happy, a different happy, and content right now at this stage of my life. For 40 years we walked through our life together and would probably have had more years if not for Covid. I miss him so much but I’m grateful for all the beautiful memories. It would be sad to lose your spouse and not have moments of beautiful memories to sustain you. None of us go unscathed through life. We all fall down and have to get back up. Some get up quicker than others. Some need lots of help to get up and keep walking. We don’t always have to have a plan. We just have to breathe and keep going.