Sat on the porch swing today waiting for the rain to start. The sky was colorless. Today is the 21st anniversary of my daughter’s death. I was pondering on the porch today remembering Rosie, determined to let the rain drops be my tears as I looked for a happy moment in this day. That thought had not dropped in my brain till a flock of noisy American goldfinches came to the bird feeders. Loudly chattering, they swarmed over the bird feeders and fought over the perches. Stopped counting the finches at 27. I know Rosie sent them. They were a ray of sunshine on this gloomy day. They are so pretty. The males are almost through getting dressed in their bright yellow sport coats and the females are just as pretty with their muted colors. Chief always sends cardinals. Now when I see goldfinches, I’ll know they are gifts from Rosie.

It’s rained off and on all day. I sat down in the kitchen and watched the bamboo. They were bent over from the weight of the rain. They looked like musicians with their arms raised, ready to touch the keys of a piano. Every now and then a few branches would quiver and I could just see them playing the piano. They were bent over near the deck railing and were playing a rainy symphony.

I made it over a mile on my house walking track today. Been walking barefoot. Gonna buy myself some new walking shoes on my birthday. Decided, while I was walking my laps, to think about making a bucket list. Ever thought about a bucket list? I’m having a hard time finding things to put on mine. Maybe mine should be a “Things I want to do list.”

Number One — I’d love to learn how to cook a steak on a grill. Always cook my steaks in a cast iron skillet. Don’t have a grill but would love a small charcoal grill that could hold two ribeyes and some vegetables and corn on the cob. My daddy used to send one of my brothers up to the Handley Springs Park to cut a few small branches from a hickory tree to put on the charcoals when he cooked steaks. Daddy never had a fancy grill but his steaks were delicious and he was famous for his French fries. I still have the metal spoon with holes he used when he cooked French fries.

Number Two — I’d love to visit a beautiful book store and spend several hundred dollars on books. I’d buy a coffee table book on birds, a book on how to grill, a few biographies, a daily devotional for widows handling grief, the latest novels from the New York Times best seller list, and a basket of magazines. Maybe a few bookmarks, too. And a new bird coffee cup.

Number Three — I’d love to go to the beach and stay in a house with a huge porch complete with a swing, large enough to nap in, and watch the waves and shore birds while drinking my morning coffee and eating my bagel.

Number Four — I’d like to put new windows on all three floors of The Gran. I’d love to refinish her hard wood floors and give her brick bannisters she could be proud of. Putting money in her piggy bank now for these things.

Number Five — I’d love to stay in a cabin in the woods, high in the mountains, surrounded by a deep snow, and sit by a wood burning fireplace reading a thick book. I’d pop popcorn and throw it out on the snow for the birds.

Number Six — I’d love to have a small flock of Dominique chickens complete with a Victorian chicken house. I’d paint the house purple and pink and paint the chickens’ names on their laying nest boxes.

Number Seven — I’d love to visit the Grand Canyon and see if it’s as beautiful as Chief said it was when he rode a mule to the bottom. I’d be afraid to ride the mule, though.

Number Eight — I’d love to do my Christmas shopping at Harrods in London, England.

Number Nine — I’d love to occasionally have a dozen petit fours just for me.

Number Ten — I’d love to have a fenced in back yard so Penelope could enjoy being free to take her runs and morning siestas.

Let me know what’s on your bucket list.