Today is the third anniversary of my brother-in-law’s death. He died six weeks after Chief. He was a devoted family man to Chief’s sister and their family and fulfilled the role of a loving grandfather for our children. They called him Uncie and they loved him dearly. We lived next door to them and have so many wondrous memories spent with him and his family. When Chief and I left on our honeymoon after our wedding here, he hugged us and whispered in my ear, “I love you.” I know he did and I loved him, too. On the day of his funeral it was bitterly cold and a snow flurry starred at the beginning of his funeral service at our family cemetery. He knew how much his “Sunshine” loved the snow and sent a flurry to let her know he loved her from heaven. He knew how much she and I enjoyed watching for the first snowflakes of winter.

Been porch pondering in the porch swing watching the overcast dull white clouds gather together, their flat stomachs filling with rain and turning gray. Father Sky has sketched all the clouds together on his sky canvas but so far we’ve just had heavy sprinkles to wet the sidewalk and slick the tile on the porch. No rain but I see it’s coming on the weather radar. Penelope has been sitting in the swing with me, taking a little nap on a red polka dot pillow.

The birds are all over the feeders and on the ground under the feeders. They love damp days, specially the cardinals. The oak trees are full of squirrels chattering and flicking their tails. When I checked the feeders this morning, a squirrel, and I’m sure it’s Fatty, had pushed the lid off one feeder and spilled and ate almost a whole feeder of sunflower seeds. The lid is loose, and I should throw the feeder away, so I really can’t be mad at Fatty. I’ll grease the pole again after the rain and that will keep him away. Penelope has been playing window tag with that squirrel all week. If we had been sitting in the lady den this morning she would have barked him away.

Haven’t seen any blue sky today but I’ve found a great quote about the blue sky and the sunset. “Day holds the sky with big blue arms until the sun sends her off in the evening with a grateful blaze of vibrant colors,” Terri Guillemets. Isn’t that a pretty thought. I can see the day’s arms wrapped around the sky then setting her down in a fire of kaleidoscopic watercolors from Mother Nature’s paint brushes, ending the day with the sun’s burst of color. Too many clouds for a sunset pageant tonight. I couldn’t even get a glimpse of the shy sun today. But if I could part the cloud cover, I know I’d see a magnificent painting by Mother Nature to celebrated the day’s gloaming. Father Sky tugged and pulled but his sliver of a waxing crescent moon and his twinkling stars stayed hidden tonight, tucked in tightly under their cloud covers.

Have you ever wondered why some people fall apart when they experience a trial in their lives and others manage to hang on and keep moving. Some of us don’t cope with life’s trials and tribulations, falling into despair. Others buck up and carry their loads on their backs and don’t break down. They’re weighed down but keep plodding on life’s path, knowing they eventually will walk back into the light. C.S. Lewis said, “It’s not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.” Been pondering on this quote all afternoon. We never know what is weighing down our fellow travelers in life and we should always put kindness first. Everyone carries different losses and different worries on their hearts and shoulders. A genuine smile might lighten their load.

I’ve carried a few heavy loads on my shoulders and struggled with carrying the weight alone and struggled with asking for help. It takes a lot of courage to get on your knees and ask for help when life gets too hard. My faith has been tested by tragedy but I know, when I decided to let the Lord take the weight off my shoulders, the sun began to shine in my life again. I put all that weight on God’s shoulders and prayed for peace. It wasn’t instantaneous but through my prayers a gradual acceptance brought me peace. We all experience loss throughout our lives but how we deal with the loss determines how heavy the load.

We all know life is not fair and is not discriminate. When we face troubles, we can always give up and fall into despair and depression, our hearts heavy with sorrow. But we learn from these difficult situations we face. Through our faith and through our prayers we can stand up and transfer our burdens to God’s shoulders. We always have the choice of asking for help. God’s grace will joyfully take the weight off our shoulders and give us peace. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

“If you really want to receive joy and happiness, then serve others with all your heart. Lift their burden, and your own burden will be lighter.” — Ezra Taft Benson