“Love you,” I said to the world this morning, blessed with another glorious day. My view this morning is dark blue sky, cloudless as far as I can see, dotted with a dozen vultures riding the wind current’s circular stairway. The yellow sulphur butterflies are dancing around the yard and the raspberry finches are fighting over their favorite feeder. The cardinals are trying to ignore the fighting finches, putting up with their antics, waiting patiently on the power lines and bushes for the finches to go away to the feeders on the other the side of the yard. If I counted right, today is day 20 that my yard hasn’t had any rain. It’s rained all around us, though. Figured I might trust Francine to water everything. Just hope she leaves her winds at home when she visits us.

Oldest brother brought his little chainsaw over and cut the brush and bushes near the corner of the banisters so now I can sit in the swing and enjoy watching the hummingbirds and butterflies party and dance on the zinnias and dried sunflower blooms. I think summer came out of the closet today. I got hot on the porch midafternoon so I retreated to the reading chair in the cool. Went back out later with a pint of sweet tea in my hand and did some porch pondering and bird watching. Love to sit in the swing and enjoy a cold glass jar of sweet tea.

Penelope has been coughing today and scratching one of her ears so I took her to vet brother’s office this afternoon. My sweet girl got a shot and two antibiotics. She sounded like a Canadian goose when she coughed. I didn’t even realize her ear was infected. Guess I’m a bad pet mama. She sounds just like a croupy baby. Asked vet brother how much cat food Kat would need a day and we’re feeding her way, way too much. She’s mad we cut her back. We always had a cat clowder in Alex City, never just one cat to feed, more like 17 barn cats to feed, so I really didn’t know how much for just one.

One of my cousin friends wrote some meaningful words on her Facebook page today. As I read her words, a few tears ran down my cheeks. She observed a family in line at the Dollar Tree and the interaction between a crying toddler and his older brother. The older brother took a glow stick from the toddler and bent it so the little brother could enjoy the stick’s glowing. As the toddler cried for the glow stick back, the older brother said, “I had to break it so you could get the full effect from it.”

She writes— “I almost ran because l could hear God saying to me, ‘I had to break you to show you why I created you. You had to go through it so you could fulfill your purpose’… There are some people who will be content just being but some of us have been chosen by God to be broken. We have to get sick. We have to lose a job. We go through divorce. We have to suffer with the disease of addiction. We have to bury our spouse, parents, best friend, or our child because, in those moments of desperation, God is breaking us, but when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we were created…so when you see us glowing just know that we have been broken but healed by his grace and mercy!!!”

I think her words are beautiful. I’ve been broken by the deaths of my daughter Rosalyn and my husband Chief but when I came out of the storms of grief, back into the sunshine of the world, my faith in God was so much stronger. God stood by my side, loving me as I questioned my faith in Jesus. He never turned away. My faith had been tested but God understood my anger and confusion and healed me by his mercy and grace. My faith was deepened and I had spiritually matured. I found myself praying more, reading Bible scriptures and devotionals every day. I’m content now with God’s promise of a glorious reunion in heaven with my loved ones.

God wants us to trust him in time of trials and tribulations. James 1:2-3 reads, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” Our faith is made stronger when we’re tested by God. He wants us to lean on him, take his hand, and stand strong in our faith. We can trust God to hold us up through any adversity.

“In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.” — Blaise Pascal