It’s a perfectly beautiful day. Blue sky, a few wispy clouds and a soft wind making the wind chimes sing pleasantly. I’ve refilled the bird feeders and taken Penelope for two walks. On our first walk it was still shady but when I stepped into the sun I could feel the warmth on my face. I love nature’s sunshine and the sunshine from my loved ones. Birds are bustling around. I looked up high in the big oak tree to watch a cardinal. His redness against the winter blue sky was a picture. There is a little flock of chickadees today. Usually only see one or two. A nuthatch, a wren, a titmouse and a college of cardinals and a charm of finches are visiting the feeders. Moved a feeder to the side yard so I could see it out my bedroom window and already have a few visitors. They found the feeder quickly.

I really need to buy a new pocket knife. Never knew how much I used it till the handle disintegrated. Was using an old one of my daddy’s. Got a new 20 pound bag of sunflower seeds and the bag is so hard to open. Don’t have this problem with dog food just these huge plastic bags of bird seed. Plastic is killing the universe. We dump the equivalent of a garbage truck of plastic in the ocean every minute of the day…17,600,000,000 pounds a year. And it never goes away, even when it breaks down after hundreds of years there are still small particles. The ocean has more plastic than fish now. An abundant ocean can feed a billion people every day forever but we’re killing our oceans. Got these facts from a video my granddaughter sent me today. She was seriously concerned. “Patty,” she said in her serious voice, “You have to watch this.” I need to go back to recycling. Chief was so good about recycling plastic and aluminum cans.

One thing I miss about Alex City is that I could always find enough blooms in the yard and woods for a bouquet. I actually saw three dandelion blooms today. To me the intricate blooms and colors of the earth’s wild flowers are prettier than florists’ blooms. When my friend owned a florist she always created beautiful bouquets and you’d always find a wildflower or two gathered with the blossoms. The only time I received a florist bouquet from Chief, a dozen red roses, was the day our son Thomas was born. I have a large gardenia bush here that Chief rooted from a bloom he picked at our church garden. The playground and garden at St. James Episcopal Church were created with memorial contributions in honor of our daughter, Rosalyn. The bush really needs pruning but I don’t want do anything to harm it. It just covers itself in blooms each year. Bloomed twice last year.

Today is Valentine’s day so I got my Valentine’s letter from Chief out of my jewelry box and sat down to read it slowly, to savor the words, and try to hear the letter in his Southern drawl. He had told me he had no money to buy me a Valentine gift that year so I jokingly said, “Write me a love letter!” So he did. Chief was a romantic in a quiet, passionate way. He never failed to bring me the first daffodil of the season or the first colorful fall leaf he found on the ground. He’d frequently bring me a bouquet of wild flowers occasionally with a few turnip green blooms thrown in. I loved these bouquets and they never ever ceased to thrill me. We’d watch the movie, The Notebook, and he never failed to say at the ending of the movie, “I love you like that, Mama.” After Thomas was born he told me the first time he met me he wanted me to be the mother of his children. Such a beautiful compliment!

I can remember the first time he told me he loved me. I waited patiently for him to say it first knowing he never said anything he didn’t mean. He was at my apartment in Alexander City, smoking a cigarette after we had eaten supper. He looked at me and said, “I love you!” I thought he would never realize it, or say it, because I knew it months before. We were great friends, who realized we had fallen in love. Funny thing was one of the mills at Russell had caught on fire that night and Chief was no where to be found. He should have been there with his camera and his little notebook but no one could find him. When we went back to work Monday and the mill’s plant manager asked why he didn’t come to take photos, we just smiled. Where were you he asked? Made a great story later years.

You know romance doesn’t have to involve dramatic gestures. To me, small gestures or small acts of affection can be romantic. Something as simple as making a cup of coffee for your loved one can be romantic. Research tell us that love involves chemistry in the brain and not the heart. I agree to disagree. My heart used to beat out of my chest when I heard Chief’s footsteps coming up the stairs to my apartment. I know how true love feels because I’ve experienced it and those memories are walking down this path of widowhood with me, holding my hand just like I held Chief’s hand as he left his earthly home.