Beautiful blue sky today. Just a few swipes of thin white clouds. The March winds are blowing this afternoon. Mother Nature is turning the thermostat down, too. If the winds keep blowing it’s gonna get chilly. Been outside several times trying to sit in the porch swing but the wind is just too stout. Think I’m going to have to crank up Bertha, my furnace, and get a little steam heat going. She is a gas gulper! I’m putting on my feeted pajamas, too!

March is usually a month of several seasons. In 1993 the whole state was covered in snow on March 12. Not giving up on snow flakes till the first week of April. My birthday is April Fool’s Day and I can remember it snowing on my birthday years ago. Alabama has had lots of snow days in Aprils.

March is being a roller coaster month of emotions for me. Our daughter, Rosalyn Louise, named after her grandmothers, died in a car accident on March 17, Saint Patrick’s Day, of 2002. She was 17 years old. Just finding her place in the world. Happily navigating her freshman year at college. I remember once at work I forgot to wear the traditional green shirt on Saint Patrick’s Day. My boss asked why I didn’t wear green and I told her all I was thinking about that day was Rosie’s death. She just turned away and walked out of the room.

It’s been 21 years since Rosie’s death but it’s still the first and last thing on my mind each day. You never “get over” the death of a child. You learn after many years how to live with the pain. You not only have to mourn the child but all the wishes you had for that child and all the family moments that child will be absent from. I’ve always worried that Rosie would be the relative no one remembers in family photos. I’m so glad my grandchildren know her from talking about her with me and Chief, and Thomas and Ashley, and Stew. They’ll remember her from her childhood photos and will identify her in the old family photos for their grandchildren one day.

Chief’s 88th birthday will be on March 29. He would be with us now if Covid had not taken him. I miss him so much. Always thought he’d live to be 100. He was 21 years older than me and always told me I’d live here in Roanoke without him. I’d always tell him I didn’t want to live there without him. He’d say, “Mama, when I’m gone, go home to your family. You’ll be fine. You’ll be okay.” I came back to my childhood home three months after he died. I’m crying as I write this. I’m not fine but I’m okay, trying to learn how to live without him. We were so happy. He was devoted to me and our children and grandchildren. We spent every other weekend here in Roanoke for many, many years and those memories are so precious to me. Those memories get me through the sad days.

March the 28th will be my 42nd wedding anniversary. We were married here in this house in front of the fireplace surrounded by family and close friends. We had a seated dinner after the ceremony. Such a beautiful night. We spent our honeymoon in the lodge at Mt. Cheaha State Park. It was beautiful, we picnicked and attended church services on Sunday at Saint Michaels and All Angels Episcopal Church in Anniston. Years later Chief and Rosie stopped by the church on Rosie’s way back to college and found our visitor signatures in the church visitors’ book. First time I’d signed us as Tom and Lane Saunders.

We’ve all heard this a thousand times — “Life is too short, so live it to the fullest.” As I approach another birthday, I realize how fast life really does pass. Life is full of sadness, life is full of surprises, and life is full of beauty and truth. Every moment of life is precious. Tomorrow is never promised and yesterday is gone forever. We need to appreciate every day and live it to the fullest. Do what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people who make you smile and make you laugh. And love as long as you live.